Sexting and Parental Guidance

Navigating friendships, relationships, sexuality, and peer pressure is hard enough. Making mistakes and learning hard lessons when no one is watching are equally challenging. Adding the permanence of a digital footprint creates layers of complexity that earlier generations didn’t face.

Though sexual activity among teens is declining, sexting is on the rise (according to a recent study by the CDC). With nearly half of teens engaging in sexting, it’s clear that the behavior has become a normative part of teen culture. So what can trusted adults do to help teens understand the risks and make good choices?

Know that it’s okay to set clear expectations. Just because a behavior is common, that does not mean it is acceptable to you. Talk about your values and your concerns.

Make it an ongoing conversation. You can start earlier than you’d think. As kids begin to use cellphones, set ground rules about use and include rules about pictures (for example, it is not okay to send or receive pictures of people with no clothes on).

Give your teen critical thinking tools. Your teen may feel confident that they can trust the person they send pictures to. Challenge them to think through other perspectives. Has a friend they trusted ever surprised them by betraying that trust? Is it possible a partner may do the same? What if the person they sent the picture to leaves their phone open and a friend goes in and forwards the picture? What if the other person’s parent goes looking in their phone and finds it?

Avoid the nuclear option. If your teen does sext or receive sexts, respond calmly. Threatening to take away their phone for eternity or end their relationship may encourage secrecy and discourage a teen from talking to a trusted adult if they get in over their head. Show them that you can handle it.

Seek out resources. TPN is always available to answer questions, and there are lots of other great resources available online, including commonsensemedia.org and athinline.org.

 

OURTURNisapublicserviceseriesbyTurningPointsNetwork(TPN)servingallofSullivanCountywith offices in Claremont and Newport. We provide wraparound supports for survivors of domestic and sexual violence, stalking and human trafficking and we present violence-prevention education programs in our schools. For more than 40 years, TPN has helped people of all ages move from the darkness of abuse toward the light of respect, healing and hope.  For information contact 1.800.639.3130 orwww.turninqpointsnetwork.org or find us onFacebook.