A phone call from the IRS? Doubtful

By ARTHUR VIDRO
My answering machine recorded a message in October that claimed to be from the Internal Revenue Service. Trouble was, it sounded like a robot-call.

The caller did not leave a name but said I owed money and it was vital, if I wished to avoid a prison sentence, that I telephone back at (516) 344-1073.

The IRS will never initiate a conversation with you with a phone call. Oh, perhaps if you have an audit scheduled, and a blizzard is taking place or the auditor is suddenly hospitalized, perhaps they’ll call to reschedule. But if you have no business with them, they won’t be phoning.

If they wish to communicate, they will write to you. On paper. It will be delivered by the postal service.

Once (in the 1990s) I got a true letter from the IRS, saying my taxes hadn’t been paid. That letter was legitimate, though the IRS had its facts wrong. I had paid my taxes; the check had been sent in with the tax return. The amount the IRS was asking for agreed to the penny with the computation I had arrived at, so I knew they had received my return; otherwise, how would they know how much I owed? But, they claimed, they had not received the payment.

So I wrote out another check and mailed it in. A month or two later, they stumbled upon the mislaid original check and cashed that one too. After I pointed out to them what had happened, they give me a choice of applying the extra check toward future tax payments or being issued a refund. I requested the refund, which they provided.

That was the only time the IRS contacted me out of the blue.

Back to the phone call.

If you ever receive such a phone call, ignore it. The IRS is not calling you.

However, in the interest of journalistic research, I thought I’d play out the hand. First, I had to make sure it wasn’t a scam where you’re charged by the minute for the phone call you place. Easily enough, I researched the area code. It was the standard area code for a county in New York state. So I dialed.

I admit, the woman I spoke to was quite a good actress. She sounded like a professional IRS agent. The background contained office-type sounds. When I asked, she identified herself by name (Jenny Smith) and a badge number (13327). She asked for the name of the person who had called me. I told her I didn’t know the robot’s name. She asked for my phone number. I provided it. She asked for my name.

I responded that rather than give her details about myself, I would prefer to come down in person to resolve the matter. I told her I knew quite well the county for which their area code corresponded (I named the county) and offered to stop by in person to settle the matter and perhaps pay whatever they thought I owed.

If this were the IRS, they’d be happy to have me come down and pay.

But this woman balked. She then changed the story a bit, saying her office was actually in Washington, D.C. and that all phone calls from her office were routed through the 516 area code. I asked her why the phone calls were rerouted; she didn’t provide a convincing answer. But she insisted they were in Washington, D.C. and so I couldn’t come down in person.

“Oh, you’re in Washington, D.C.?” I replied politely. “Fine, I have a cousin who is a police officer in Washington, D.C. and he owes me a favor.” (Which was a lie; I have no such cousin.) I said my cousin would be happy to go down in person to their office and pay my alleged debt. All I would need from her was the address of her office.

She wouldn’t give it. (I was convinced even before I telephoned that this was a bogus IRS call. But this refusal to provide an address, I felt, was hard proof she was part of a scam operation.) Instead she asked me again for my name.

I hedged, giving my first name only.

She asked for my surname. I replied that before I give her any more personal information about myself, I would need to know the address of her office, which I would intend to verify.

Then she muttered something about “You may be the wrong person. I’m looking for a Christian.”

I have no idea what she meant. Had the original call been intended for someone named Christian? Had the call been meant for someone of the Christian persuasion?

After the word “Christian,” she hung up.

That was a couple months ago, and I never heard back. If the IRS truly wanted to reach me, wouldn’t they have tried again? And with a human being instead of with a robot?

Again, I called back solely to do research for this article. Don’t do what I did. Instead, just ignore the call purporting to be from the IRS and ignore whatever message they leave.

If you have consumerism questions, send them to Arthur Vidro care of the Eagle Times, which publishes his column every weekend.