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Claremont parade for peace in the home

By GLYNIS HART
[email protected]
CLAREMONT — Walk it, run it, or bring your dog to it. The 13th annual Steppin’ Up 5K for Turning Points Network is the biggest fundraiser of the year for the domestic violence/sexual assault survivors’ advocacy nonprofit, and it takes place this Saturday. Registration begins at 8:30 a.m. followed by a rally at 9:45 a.m. The walk kicks off in front of Claremont Middle School at 10 a.m. 

Jenn Ucci, director of development for TPN, said there are 83 confirmed teams signed up, or between 600 and 800 people to walk, run, and march. 

TPN has served around 900 local families this past year. The march helps them provide their services to survivors for free. TPN staffers answer the hotline, they accompany people to court and to the hospital, they provide financial literacy training and peer advocacy groups, and they help people find both emergency shelter and long-term shelter. They also teach violence prevention in the schools. 

Anyone in need can turn to them for help. “Honestly it’s a mix of people,” said Ucci. “We see women primarily, but violence doesn’t discriminate. We see people in all age groups, men and trans teenagers. The survivor determines what they want.” 

Advocates at TPN work one-on-one with survivors for as long as needed so they can establish a safe and stable home. “We do safety planning, childcare information, peer support — there’s a whole range of services,” said Ucci. 

“We try to convey empathy and understanding to everyone. We’re nonjudgmental,” said Ucci.

Freedom from judgment is key, because although society is changing and the public is coming to understand domestic violence more, many survivors blame themselves for having been abused. 

“They’re made to feel like they’re crazy,” said Ucci. 

“In the more extreme cases,” said Michelle Burke, direct services advocate. “The abuser will drive away anyone who can help the person stand up to them.” 

TPN staffers give local police high marks for the way they handle domestic violence cases. 

“The police here usually do a really good job,” said Deb Mozden, director of TPN. Often, the abuser or aggressor will try to portray themselves as the victim, or even try to file charges against their victim.

“Batterers are pretty finessed at dodging charges,” said Mozden. However, Claremont police are trained to recognize the primary aggressor in a DV case. “The few times we were involved where [an accusation against the victim has stuck] the police were already unraveling it.” 

Burke said people aren’t aware how much victim-blaming still goes on, whether it’s in the courts or even in the person’s family. “They’ll say, ‘Why don’t you just leave?’ It’s just not that easy to leave.” 

Statistically, a victim of domestic violence will leave 7-9  times before they successfully escape, if they escape. 

Many victims of violence are dealing with multiple problems, financial and emotional. They may lack access to their own money, or lose their housing if they leave. “They may develop a substance abuse problem as a coping mechanism,” said Ucci. 

“We know we’ve got our work cut out for us,” said Burke. 

The staff at TPN believe strongly in letting the person coming to them for help determine what kind of help that is, and how they want to proceed. They believe it’s critical for survivors to develop a sense of control over their own actions after they’ve been controlled or dominated by someone else. 

“I couldn’t say enough how important it is that TPN is in this community,” said Ucci. “It’s so important for survivors to have a place where they can go to escape a life of violence and fear. TPN wants you to know, no survivor should ever have to stand alone.”

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