By JASON GUYER
The musical experience is a unique one in cinema and nothing like the Broadway experience. With that said, Broadway success does not often translate to cinema success.
“Cats,” the long running Broadway show, is no exception.
The show, composed by Andrew Lloyd Weber, is the fourth longest running Broadway (U.S.) play and the sixth longest West-End (London) show based on number of shows. If you base it on years, “Cats” is the longest running show both on Broadway and West-End.
Based on the book “Old Possum’s Book of Practical Cats” by T. S. Eliot, the story is about a tribe of cats that must decide yearly which one will ascend to the Heaviside Layer and come back to a new life. The tribe of cats are called the Jellicle cats and the yearly Heaviside choice is called the Jellicle choice. This is about as in depth as the story gets in “Cats.”
“Cats” is also what is called a “sung-through musical,” meaning that there is little to no dialogue and everything is is sung in song form.
The only way the audience can gleam anything about or from the story of “Cats” is through songs or musical numbers. This can cause some mew-sery for film go-ers.
Those that have a hard time with musicals in the first place may have a worse time with “Cats” as there is no break from the music. What this means for the film “Cats” is they had to bring it when it came to the musical numbers. The mew-sic is the only way the audience is going to fall in love with “Cats.”
The opening number, “Jellicle Songs for Jellicle Cats,” is one of the best numbers in the entire film.
This is a good and bad thing for “Cats.” This allows the audience to try to forget how creepy the cats actually look in the film, and yes the cats are that bad.
The trailer for “Cats” was as off-putting and creepy a trailer that has ever been made and this feeling was widely held. In spite of this, the opening of “Jellicle Songs for Jellicle Cats” does — for a time — allows the audience to forget this and settle into the film.
Un-fur-tunately, the “settling in” does not last long and the next number is purr-haps the worst part of the film. Rebel Wilson performing “The Old Gumbie Cat” is something I wish I could forget. This is too bad because Wilson is bad she brings down the next number by Jason Derulo.
Jason Derulo could have been the claws needed to capture the audience. Oh the paw-sibilities. Yet, the numbers surrounding his are truly terrible and bring Derulo’s performance and impact down.
James Corden’s “Bustopher Jones” is just as bad as bad after Derulo’s as Wilson’s is before.
The disappointments do not stop there either. Some of the best numbers in the Broadway version of “Cats” never quite cat-ch on in the film version. This is also true with the most well-known song from the Broadway version, “Memory,” sung by Jennifer Hudson. Hudson, an Oscar winner, falls short of her capabilities and while hers is one of the better songs in the film, it is over sung and over acted.
Hudson gives you a more sad and haunting version of “Memory.” When the tone and feeling should be and verbally feels somber but with a sort of uplifting power behind it. She gives an interpretation and not all interpretations are bad but some can miss the mark and that is how Hudson’s version of “Memory” plays out. It is one of the high bars for the film, but that is not saying much.
If you are looking for the best or highest bar in “Cats,” this goes to Francesca Howard. Howard plays the lead in Victoria. Victoria is abandoned and is who the Jellicle Cats are presenting themselves to for her to become one.
Francesca Hayward is principal dancer with the Royal Ballet and shows some of her ballet skills in “Cats” but they don’t let her loose and should have. Some of Hayward’s best roles include Juliet (“Romeo and Juliet”), Alice (“Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland”), Sugar Plum Fairy and Clara (“The Nutcracker”), and Princess Aurora (“The Sleeping Beauty”). Hayward’s ballet is second to none and hiring a ballerina for your lead and not utilizing their ballerina skill set is an a-paw-ling mistake.
Francesca Hayward also gets the privilege of singing the one new song the film “Cats” introduced into the film version, “Beautiful Ghosts.”
“Beautiful Ghosts” is one of the best numbers in cats and Hayward is not perfect singing it but her tone and expressions work for the number. To be honest, Hayward seems like the only person who even wants to be in “Cats.” This can be seen in her expression throughout the film and especially during her solo number “Beautiful Ghosts.” See the photo provided and that should give you some idea of what I mean by the above statement. This excitement from Hayward (almost) makes up for this missed notes and the lack of ballet. Hayward is the best part of “Cats” and the film needed more like her in it.
The biggest downfall of “Cats” is how flat everything feels, the film lacks cat-titude. The hope was probably for Taylor Swift to bring that to the film.
“Cats” gives Swift one of the biggest numbers in the film. “Macavity” is a number with mystery and attitude and one that should have made the film better. Swift leaves out the attitude and doubles down on the quizzical/mysterious aspect of the song but it sounds off and never fits. The hard part is that the film “Cats” is better if Taylor Swift succeeds because everyone loves her. If she hit the heights of her music in “Cats,” the film would have exploded in popularity.
The problem is just like everything else in “Cats,” Swift doesn’t seem to fit. I think instead of T-Swift cat-titude it needed more of a Miley Cyrus “Cattitude.”
However, no one fits less in “Cats” than Macavity himself, Idris Elba. The only thought I have during Ebla’s entire performance is why is he here. Why Elba chose to do “Cats” might be just as mysterious as his character Macavity.
I went into “Cats” wanting to love it. Musicals can be a wonderful cinema experience and a nice change of place from your normal straight forward films. Thse creations also have to be well done though and the last well done musical in film was “The Greatest Showman.”
“Cats” never even gets in the same vicinity as “The Greatest Showman” and is a giant cat-astrophe.
Tom Hooper, the director of “Cats,” gives the audience the strangest and weirdest version possible.
The hyper-sexualized cats are creepy and weird. This is made even more so by their human faces and cat bodies. The constant nuzzling is off putting and distracts from the musical numbers and in a musical the musical numbers should be the most important part.
The film would have been better off with actors with whiskers and a tale taped on.
“Cats” is the first film where CGI was the wrong way to go and it feels like the film did the absolute mew-nimum. Now that there is a film version of “Cats” that is not very good then viewers’ expectations should un-fur-tunately be one of disappointment.
The one thing the film version makes clear is that the play version is just a better all around experience for this musical.
In “Cats,” one of the cats sings, “The Rum Tum Tugger is a Terrible Bore,” and Jason Derulo’s character answers as Rum Tum Tugger by singing, “When you let me in, then I want to go out, I’m always on the wrong side of every door. The wrong side of every door is the best sentiment that could ever be stated about this film version of “Cats.”
“Cats’” is purrr-fectly claw-ful and everything wrong with it makes “Cats” a film to furr-get and maybe this decades worst film.
The upside is “Cats” will leave the audience in a truly cat-atonic state so you may not have too much trouble furr-getting the experience.
IRATE SCORE: 1.5/5
Jason Guyer is an avid moviegoer and works in the graphics department at the Eagle Times. For questions or comments he can be emailed at [email protected].
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