By JASON GUYER
“Da plane! Da plane!”
These famous words were said by Hervé Villechaize who played Tattoo in television’s “Fantasy Island.” I quite vividly remember these words, along with Tattoo ringing a bell. Although, to be quite honest, that is the extent of my memories on the television show “Fantasy Island.” Well, I do remember Ricardo Montalbán some.
The television show “Fantasy Island” dealt in giving guests their ultimate fantasies — and often those fantasies came at a price. The premise of the show plays perfectly for a horror film.
Enter 2020’s “Fantasy Island,” where Blumhouse Productions tries to exactly that, to turn the premise of the television show into a successful horror film.
The film casts Michael Peña as the enigmatic Mr. Roarke. Roarke runs an island resort that makes the secret dreams of his lucky guests come true. However, when the fantasies turn into nightmares, the guests have to solve the mystery of their own fantasies and save themselves and the lives of others.
The production company, Blumhouse, is becoming famous for horror films and for taking premises, games, or television shows and turning them into a horror film. Last year it was “Truth or Dare.” This year it is “Fantasy Island.”
The goal for Blumhouse Productions is to make an watchable yet affordable horror film. These films are not meant to be great but are meant to be watchable and fun. “Fantasy Island” is neither.
Michael Peña as Roarke never really captures Ricardo Montalbán’s version. Peña’s version is a much more sad and desperate version of the character and I am not sure that is the better version or story for a horror film. Instead of a sad/desperate archetype for Mr. Roarke, maybe a straight-up evil one would have handled the horror genre better.
In “Fantasy Island,” Mr. Roarke is just another guest (sort of) living out his fantasy.
Storywise, this does not seem like the best option, nor does it play out that way in the film. This will become a recurring theme within the film “Fantasy Island.”
The lead in “Fantasy Island,” Melanie Cole, is played by Lucy Hale. Hale also starred in the mediocre Blumhouse Productions film “Truth or Dare,” where she also underperformed. However, the performance Hale gives can be only as strong as how the character is written.
In regards to Hale, Katy Keene is Hale’s best and strongest character to date and one she should stick with on the CW television show “Katy Keene.”
Melanie Cole is not. Cole’s story in “Fantasy Island” is beholden to her fantasy and the fantasy for the Melanie character is one that leaves little room for growth. Cole’s character and by extension Hale’s performance is very predictable. There is even a plot twist with her character that never feels like a twist but rather feels like an inevitability because of her character’s fantasy.
The name of the film is “Fantasy Island ‘’ and because of that and its namesake television show, the fantasies matter. Melanie Cole’s fantasy is underwhelming. I wish I could say it was just her character but this is the theme behind “Fantasy Island.”
All the fantasies are underwhelming and predictable. Austin Stowell plays Patrick Sullivan and his fantasy deals with issues over his father’s death. Maggie Q plays Gwen Olsen and her fantasy deals with regrets and gives one of the better acting performances in “Fantasy Island.”
The most predictable is that of Ryan Hansen’s character who on par with many of Hansen’s prior performances gets the “Bro” fantasy. Hansen’s performance comes off as a poor man’s Dick Casablancas.
The best performance in “Fantasy Island” is that of Sloane Maddison who is played by Portia Doubleday. Doubleday actually seems to have depth as the bully character and is one of the few characters that actually seems to eventually grasp and begins to deal with her issues.
The other characters are lost in their own fantasies and never realize the important life lessons through the medium of their fantasies.
This was a very large aspect of “Fantasy Island” the television show. One that seems rather lost on in the 2020 version.
The year’s version never has a clear path and runs amuck on “Fantasy Island.” The film is not scary in any sense of that word because it never clearly chooses that path and it probably should have.
“Fantasy Island’’ as a full tilt psychological horror film through people’s fantasies is a tantalizing premise. But this film never gets there.
In the television show the guests fantasies were not without peril, but most often the greatest danger usually came from the guests themselves. “Fantasy Island” as a life lesson film taught through one’s own fantasies is also an engrossing premise. But this film never gets there.
In the television show there were some cases where people were killed due to their own negligence, aggression or arrogance. “Fantasy Island” as a warning using one’s own fantasies is also a thought provoking idea. But this film never gets there.
This all would be fine for Blumhouse Productions if they stuck to their initial goal as an affordable, cheaply-made horror film where the audience has fun and finds the film watchable. The key word being horror. “Fantasy Island” is no horror film. It only fantasizes of being one and there is not one scary moment in the entire film. There are some ominous ones but those never come to fruition because of a simple story.
Tattoo would have been severely disappointed in the 2020 Blumhouse Productions version. He used to ring that bell and shout “Da plane! Da plane!” with such vigor and excitement. In 2020, someone looks up and says, “Hey, isn’t that the plane?”
Now that is as mundane, half-hearted and disappointing as it gets.
IRATE SCORE: 1.5/5
Jason Guyer is an avid moviegoer and works in the graphics department at the Eagle Times. For questions or comments he can be emailed at [email protected].
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