By BECKY NELSON
A couple of weeks ago my aunt passed away at the age of 91. Ninety-one is very old, no matter how you frame it, and she had a good, long run. She had a stroke several years ago that necessitated a move to a skilled nursing facility, but before this shock of a decade ago, her trips to the doctor had been minimal and her health had been of little concern to her. I glanced at this photo of her on my way out of the house to fill the bird feeders, and it made me smile.
Aunt Esther McDonough knew how to love life. She retired after 35 years as a court stenographer in New Hampshire’s Superior Court system and lived a couple of decades of travel- and adventure-filled healthy times. From cruises all over, trips to Ireland, tours of South Korea and Canadian train rides that featured snow-buses to look at seals and polar bears, she knew how to make the best of her retirement.
She loved birds. Her library was full of bird books and her yard was full of feeders. She began feeding birds before it became a “thing” and always had a wide variety of winged friends visiting her feeders. I try to keep this tradition alive, and have several feeders scattered around the front and back yards of the house. In the summer I put out hummingbird feeders and plant butterfly and bird friendly flowers to grace our home and make it attractive for myself as well as my winged friends.
Aunt Esther grew up on this farm, living what must have been a rough childhood with the passing of her father when she was just a kid and raised by a mother who was trying to preserve the farm and keep herself and her kids fed in a hard time during the depression and then during World War II. There are funny family stories of playtime in-between most days of hard work, and my grandmother made sure the kids were able to go to the movies now and again and be active in 4-H with their chickens and cows. Esther broke her neck sledding one winter, and spent several weeks in the hospital in Keene. Not only a financial burden for the family during tough economic times, but the ordeal must have left an emotional scar on both Esther and the rest of the family. Instead of being afraid, Esther became a stubborn gal that wouldn’t let an obstacle stand in her way. Life was hard, and Esther worked hard to gain the independence and financial wherewithal to make her personal goals of travel, independence and comfort a reality.
Esther was a very opinionated and very conservative. She would hop onto the keyboard and send letters to representatives, senators, governors, presidents… anyone she thought needed to hear her opinion. She was active in the government process and urged my husband and I to let our voices be heard and become active in local governance, and was an inspiration in my husband’s and my commitment to civic involvement. She never wavered when the economy softened or the weather howled, seemingly unafraid of anything, even chasing bears from the lawn woofing like a dog and shaking a broom at the bruins.
She loved to shop. After the hard times she witnessed and withstood as a child, probably having the hard-earned dollars to buy what she wanted when she wanted was a small triumph at every shopping trip. She even enjoyed a trip out to do some shopping less than a week before her passing. She never let weather or delays keep her from her intended trip to the mall or to have her hair done in Manchester, and had a stubborn streak as wide as the horizon. She loved her family and would lavish all of us “kids” with mountains of Christmas gifts each year. She would take us shopping for school clothes every year and take us on vacations, giving our folks respite and giving us travel opportunities we wouldn’t have had otherwise. She decorated for every holiday and celebration imaginable, and truly enjoyed parties and festivities. She was reserved and private, yet reached out with financial support to numerous charities and visited and sent letters and cards to shut-ins and lonely souls. She was an interesting and unique character, and I have wonderful memories to keep me.
Aunt Esther’s life can teach us all a lesson or two. Don’t be afraid. Turn your stubborn streak outward and overcome obstacles to obtain your goals. Love the natural world and preserve your corner of the world to share with all of God’s creatures. Have faith. Things will get better and you will be okay. Be active in your community. Without your voice and your work, things cannot be accomplished. Enjoy life. Decorate for holidays, host dinners, go to parties. Leave a legacy for your friends and family to remember and enjoy. Be kind and reach out to those that need help. I certainly have modeled some of my beliefs and behaviors according to the strong and independent people around me. Know that you, too, can be one of those influences on generations next and take the time to share yourself with them.
The pandemic social restrictions will lift and we will bounce back from the economic, social and personal blows that this virus is causing. Use this time to look forward with hope and a commitment to make the world a better place. And then think of Esther and go shopping.
Becky Nelson is co-owner of Beaver Pond Farm in Newport, New Hampshire. [email protected].
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