By BECKY NELSON
By Becky Nelson
Do you ever have one of those weeks that bears a task list longer than could ever be accomplished? Here at the farm, that is the norm. The workload is bigger than ever could be finished. But we “plug along” and try to do as much as we can before ticking off another seven-day stretch on the calendar. Of course we have to pay attention to appointments and special dates, but for the most part the days blend together and the work never stops.
The term “make hay while the sun shines” has taken over our lives as of late. The lack of rain and maturity of grasses in the hayfields has hit us with a sense of urgency as we try to harvest the first crop and settle it in the barn, a couple of weeks earlier than we normally do. There is a lot of angst about making hay. Close attention is paid to the weather forecast. When a stretch of three days of sunshine shows up, the hay is mowed. Here, that means lots of things take a back seat for a bit so the tractor work can be performed, and this year because of drought conditions and fair weather, we are haying while we are still trying to plant. Though planting in the dust seems moot with germination on hold until we get some moisture, it still has to be done.
Haying reminds me of my dad. I learned to make hay under his guidance. I never did get to mow hay as he said, “I’ll do it because I know where the rocks are.” I actually heard my husband say those very words to our son — who is in his late 20s — this week. Funny he allows him to ted, rake and bale, but not mow. It must be a dad thing. Dad was right not to trust me with a mower, as he was probably remembering my teenage first trip around a field with the rake when I hooked the rake on a large boulder when I got too close and nearly ejected myself from the tractor seat. I did bend the rake frame. It wasn’t a good first attempt. He was so patient. He never yelled, never blew up at me, he just calmly said, “You won’t do that again, will you?” My husband’s dad was a yeller, though the love was nonetheless there. His dad taught him invaluable lessons that he has brought to the workplace and our marriage, and I am forever grateful to him and my mother-in-law for bringing my partner into the world.
Fathers. With the celebration of fathers tomorrow, I think of my own and my husband’s. Both gone now, they are seared in our memories and in the way we do things every day as they were both stewards of the land. Both tended cattle. Both made hay. Both passed on all kinds of memories and stories and, most important, love of family. If he husband’s father has been my dad when I hit the rock, it would have been a different scene. But the love still would have been there. His dad taught him invaluable lessons that he has brought to the workplace and our marriage, and I am forever grateful to him and my mother-in-law for bringing my partner into the world.
We are very lucky, as both of our children now live within a mile of us and each other, and both sets of kids and their spouses still have their dads. As spouses and grandkids have come into the picture, this makes for very special Mother’s and Father’s Days, and I wish all of our extended family a happy day. I remember how my dad enjoyed spending time with my kids, and what an important circle this pattern of kid to dad to grandpa was and is in our family and how the farming tradition has passed through the ages. Don’t underestimate your impact on your kids and your grandkids. These moments are short and precious.
This year is a weird one. With a pandemic turning our lives upside down, a drought plaguing us farmers with smaller hay crops, what will be late crops with stunted, late or even failed production a possibility due to lack of water, a worry about dry forests, dry lands, dry pastures and excessive heat way early in the season, and unemployment and modifications to mitigate the virus disrupting every aspect of our lives, it is going to be a very different Father’s Day, but I am hoping a very wonderful one.
Many fathers have had the pleasure or added difficulty of spending lots and lots of time with their families over the last few months. With kids trying to remote learn and dads trying to remote work, not only the internet has been taxed, but the very fabric of families has been stretched and worn. I hope it has been a positive experience for most dads whether working or unemployed and staying home with the family. I can guarantee that it is a time the kids will never forget. I remember small moments spent with my dad every day, and the “pandemic kids” will have memories that last a lifetime.
So here is to the dads. The ones gone and the ones still here. The ones that bellow and yell and the ones that cuddle and nurture. Thank you for being a dad, not a father, but a dad, as there is a world of difference. I think we should rename the parent holidays to Mom’s and Dad’s Days. There is a big difference of semantics between being a father or mother and a dad or mom. There is nothing else like you in the lives of your kids.
Becky Nelson is co-owner of Beaver Pond Farm in Newport, New Hampshire. You can contact her through the farm page on Facebook and Instagram, visit the retail store or email her at [email protected].
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