By Arthur Vidro
By Arthur Vidro
What is it about the word “free” that makes otherwise intelligent consumers toss discipline out the window to pursue riches while falling prey to scheme after scheme?
We all love hearing we’ve won something for free. Instead, we should be asking, “Why is this person or business giving me something for nothing? How does it benefit them?”
Because if it doesn’t obviously benefit them, then beware. There’s a catch somewhere, and it’s going to cost you.
We should also be asking, “Why did they choose me? Did I enter a contest or otherwise make myself known to them?”
But we tend not to ask.
A curious envelope arrived last week. The return address was a post office box in Broomfield, Colorado, but no person or corporate name appeared above the box number. When no specific person or company is identified on the envelope as the sender, that often means they know you would throw it away unopened if you knew who it was from.
The postage was for “standard mail,” which is less than first class, and usually means junk mail. If you see “standard mail” on an envelope, proceed with caution.
It was addressed to: Vidro Moore.
Yes, I’m Vidro, but I have no idea who Moore is. Even though they botched my name, they got my address correct.
When you are misnamed on mail from a stranger, beware.
My instinct was to trash it right away. But on the chance it might help some of this column’s readers, I opened it. But you’re better off ignoring any such mail.
It contained a cover letter, a second letter, a claim voucher, and a return (non-stamped) envelope.
The cover letter inside identified the sender as Mountain View Publishers. It began, in extra-large, bold type: “It’s confirmed. You are a guaranteed prize winner!”
The letter explained I was selected to receive a free prize. As for why I, out of all the people in our vast land, was selected, it said “because of your past participation in a number of major sweepstakes promotions. When we saw how badly you want to win, we knew we had the right person.” That psuedo-explanation is just advertising puffery.
It identified the prize as “a genuine 24 Karat Gold Keepsake. For the record, that’s 99.99% PURE GOLD – and it’s all yours – free and clear!”
The letter explained about the millions of dollars of prizes that would also be given away – and for which I could enter the drawing – but those winnings weren’t guaranteed. Just the 24-karat gold keepsake was guaranteed.
The letter was signed with an illegible (but computer-generated) scribble, above the title “MVP Editor.”
Fact-checking time.
Yes, there is an entity called Mountain View Publishers, and yes, they “reside” at the box number given as the return address. The cover letter did not include a phone number. Without a phone number, and without the name of a person to ask for, good luck trying to speak to the sender.
No, I don’t participate in sweepstakes. Though a year ago I made a small contribution to a certain charity, which apparently sold my name and address to others, and since then I’ve been receiving – and immediately discarding – scores of sweepstakes offers.
Now let’s look closer at the scam.
To claim your “free” 24-karat gold prize, you must return the “Official Claim Voucher.” But you also have to enclose a personal check for $2.75 made payable to the publisher. The “free” prize isn’t given to you unless you pay the fee, which gains you the current issue of something called Jackpot Journal. (For folks preferring to pay with a credit card, there’s space for that information on the voucher’s rear.)
Oh, and you have to sign and date the claim voucher.
However, by signing the claim voucher, you are authorizing this publisher to debit your account $33 quarterly until, well, until perhaps forever.
So the “winner” has to pay money to the company. The “winner” will receive a magazine that isn’t wanted and which the publisher makes a huge profit on, from that $33 quarterly charge.
Folks, this is Exhibit A of a company to which you do NOT want to give your credit card number or access to your checking account.
The second letter in the envelope pitched their products. But on the rear, in faint type, it did spell out all the legalities, which is probably why they’re still in business. A company can obey the letter of the law while still being deceitful, slimy, and unethical.
The rear of the second letter even included a customer service phone number, which delivers you, during business hours, to a worker well trained in keeping your money going to their company.
The Better Business Bureau has received many complaints about this company. It’s easy to enter a subscription to the Jackpot Journal but difficult to exit the subscription. Money that has changed hands is not refunded. That’s a potential pitfall when you let a publisher deduct money directly from your bank account or charge it directly to your credit card.
You are paying them $11 every month, which is $132 a year. They are giving you a periodical that isn’t worth nearly that much to you.
What about the free gold? Some folks complained to the Better Business Bureau that they never received it.
But I’m willing to concede Mountain View Publishing is sending out free gold. The faint print on the back of the second letter states that all respondents will receive a 24-karat gold keepsake with an actual retail value of $5.99 (note the decimal point’s location).
That’s right: $5.99
Sounds like the keepsake is a microdot.
Most folks send in their claim vouchers without reading all the way to the bottom of the faint type on the rear of the second letter.
So to receive $6 worth of gold, and a magazine subscription you probably don’t want, you send $2.75 right away and $11 a month for life.
Instead of billing it as a 24-karat gold keepsake, it ought to be billed as fool’s gold.
And the folks who send in their money are the fools.
Don’t be one of them.
Arthur Vidro’s latest short story, “Which Casino?” appears in the November 2020 issue of Mystery Weekly Magazine.
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