Early in my life, I was given the gift of a stepbrother who happened to be gay. We used to sing and dance in our living room for hours and belly laugh until we cried. We talked about everything and I always knew he never judged me. By the time I was 16, I began to see judgment from family and others in society. They cast hate and fear of what they didn’t see as normal, but Shawn continued growing into being his unapologetic authentic self. I learned not to be judgmental or cruel. While it was a time when being openly gay was considered not OK, my brother never denied who he was or who he loved. He taught us courage and strength.
While Shawn lived his adult life in Texas, he always considered Vermont his home and would return with his partner often. I would be filled with joy knowing I would sing and dance with him in our living room again, even as I was in my 30s. While he was never uncomfortable with snide remarks or stares, I was completely aware of every single one, but remained proud to walk next to him because he was my brother. One day, he called and told our family he had AIDS. The journey his life took was one of pain, judgment and fear, with many turning their backs. I, myself, lost friends, too. Those who once sat around my kitchen table no longer wanted to drink from one of my coffee cups. Along with my brother, I felt the judgment, pain and fear of not understanding what AIDS was. My brother lost his battle here, at RRMC, many years ago.
His story is why I’m an ally and celebrate Pride Month. Shawn is the reason I support and embrace my co-workers here at Rutland Regional Medical Center who have the same courage he did to live their authentic lives. I am grateful for my brother, Shawn. I hope he realizes how far we have come and how his path started to pave the way and enlighten those of us willing to see that, in the end, love is just love. Cheers, Shawn, and tonight I dance and sing with you in my heart. Happy Pride Month to all my co-workers, and I am really proud of you.
Donna Towler lives in Rutland.
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