‘Love Thy Neighbor’

By Jonathan
Being a bisexual man in America is difficult because American society has social expectations on bisexual people. Often, bisexuality is misunderstood due to media portrayal. Bisexual men and women are often not featured in public media, instead television shows tend to have either straight or gay characters that date their respective gender.

Due to this, there is a misconception that bisexuals love both genders equally, when at times, it can actually be more one-sided than the other gender.

Growing up Irish-Catholic, homosexuality in our church was shunned or not spoken about until the pope publicly spoke on it. This religious and upbringing structure was stress filled. Instead of openly confronting feelings, we were taught to avoid any feelings towards the same sex as it was sinful.

When I left my hometown and started college, I finally was surrounded by many different people. My town was Irish homogenous and as a result, straying from the social norms could bring adversity.

In my college, my roommates were very accepting, but I did hear one remark through the grapevine that, “he better not bring a guy back to the room.” Another time I was speaking with an openly religious friend that did not know I was gay. He stated that although his cousin is gay, he couldn’t “support his lifestyle” as it was against his religious teachings. I thought this was ironic as my takeaway from my own religious upbringing was to “love thy neighbor.”

Dating while openly bi was tough, as I was still keeping it secret from my family. I had to politely guide misconceptions, but I encountered other difficulties. A girl that I attempted to date remarked, “Oh have you kissed guys? That’s so hot.” I started to feel fetishized amongst certain girls due to bisexual and gay men being sexualized in media.

In the end, I feel supported by my friends and those I trust. Due to many misconceptions and past treatments, I have decided to keep my sexuality on a need to know basis. I simply just don’t want to deal with questions and backhanded comments. I find it easier to just exist and pass as straight as it doesn’t matter to me anyway.

I hope for America to come to grips with its treatment of LGBT citizens. I think it’s unfair to attribute the religion of Christianity or Catholicism as the reason for anti-gay laws.