The Endangered Social Butterfly

By Mary Carter
Commentary
CLAREMONT, N.H

While at the Claremont Opera House last weekend, it became evident that more than a few audience members were arriving, and sitting, solo.

Looking back on my younger years, I can recall changing my mind about attending a social event if my friends weren’t coming along. It wasn’t that my friends preferred to do nothing. It was simply that there were so many choices. In my twenties, it wasn’t uncommon to be out with 8 to 10 friends on a Friday night.

These days, however, an alarming number of people are clinging to pandemic ways and either not socializing in groups or doggedly staying home. There’s no denying that Covid changed our lives. What was anticipated to be a “less than a month” lockdown turned into a year and a half of solitary confinement.

When Covid struck, my cafe management job was put on ice. The first weeks of my enforced “homestay” were heavenly. No 4:30 a.m. up-and-at-it. I slept in, read books and dug into the shows I’d always heard about but never had time for.

The news was always dire. What else could it be? We weren’t just frightened by what was. We became anxious over what might be. Hiding at home kept us safe and away from the problems. Isolation became a refuge. Being alone became the norm.

Then, the bans got lifted. Life outside our walls opened up again. Still, one had to venture carefully. Whenever an overcrowded restaurant, bar or event caused a Covid resurgence, we’d all point at that news and say, “See! See!” while priding ourselves on our cautious and continued diligence.

Now, months later, people are still hesitant to socialize. According to a 2023 survey conducted for Newsweek, 42% interviewed said they were less sociable now than they were in 2019.

Long-ago, philosopher Aristotle claimed that “Man is by nature a social animal.” Since the rigid Covid restrictions, we’ve become a race of lonely humans. Humans need to interact and to connect. Humans do best in good company. But how do we reintroduce ourselves to a communal effort when feelings of anxiety and social awkwardness keep us at bay?

We tell ourselves to be patient and take it one brave step at a time.

Here, in the Twin States, we have unsurpassable opportunities to get outdoors and experience the world again. Hike, bike or swim!

Reconnect with the groups and organizations you once belonged to. Very likely, there are members just like you waiting for someone to say, “remember when?” Meet up, have coffee and laugh!

Last, and certainly not least, the Around Town section of the Eagle Times offers an array of events suited to a variety of tastes and budgets. Interested in seeing shows at the Claremont Opera House, but don’t have the spare cash? Volunteer as an usher or a backstage assistant. Bonus: you’ll shed your “isolation shell” and find your wings again.

And remember, we’re all in this reconnecting game together.

— Mary Carter is an Eagle Times Correspondent.