The Youngest Fledgling Leaves the Nest

LEAVES ARE FREE
We dropped a child off at college last weekend. This wasn’t the first time. We’ve done it before — six times before.

Julia’s departure makes us empty nesters, a very new thing, since we have been actively raising children in the home for 42 years. In the 29 years since our eldest became a teenager, we have had only one year without a teen in the house.

I won’t say that this lengthy (and beautiful) child-raising shift has earned us a medal or other award, but I will say that I am left with a question: What do I do next?

Last spring, as I was thinking about it, my grandson asked why I was sad, so I explained. His insightful and sincere answer was, “It’s OK, Grandma. You’re helping mom raise my sister me.” From the mind of a 14-year-old, a response filled with wisdom.

Of course, I am pleased to have this role as grandma. I bring forgotten cleats and lunches to the school in exchange for a grateful thanks and a chance to check on how their day is going. I am on call for bad weather rides, sickness and early dismissals. These opportunities assure me that I am making a positive difference in their lives.

Now back to the question at hand. What do I do next? Since my husband of 47 years is now mostly retired, we’ll spend time together, as we’ve often looked forward to. We hope to travel, likely to Washington, DC to visit our new college student at The Catholic University of America, and to visit a child in Wyoming, and a child in North Carolina, and a child in Boston and …

Maybe a good path is to consider my health — physical, spiritual, emotional, social. Without a doubt, exercise, fresh air and nutrition come near the top of the list. In the spiritual realm, time with God experienced a great boost while working through COVID-related issues. Creativity, including writing, photography, cooking and satisfying a deep curiosity about many things, should be a good prescription for emotional fulfillment.

So that brings me to social growth. In many ways, my social growth might need careful pruning. Perhaps I shouldn’t volunteer for (or agree to take on) new projects. Maybe I could be a bit selfish — in the sense that I do things I have been unable to accommodate in my previously busy life.

As I start this new chapter, possibly write a new column and maybe another book, I am wondering if others might want to follow along. I think I’ll take a step and see how it goes.

— Ann St. Martin Stout is a Newport native and, with her husband Greg, has raised seven children there. Arts, culture, local history and her Catholic faith are among her interests. She has written two books and can be reached at [email protected].