A.C. Worth
Advice
Dear A. C.:
We’ve always hosted Thanksgiving dinner at our house but this year, for a change, we’ve been invited to a friend’s house. Since I haven’t been to someone else’s house for such an occasion, could you please advise us on etiquette guidelines we should follow? We’ve always been loose about things at our house.
— Sincerely, First Time Guest
Dear First Time Guest:
That’s a great question at this time of the year. I took your question to my circle of friends from Vermont who have been hosts and guests at Thanksgiving dinners, and we discussed it over some glasses of mulled wine by the fireplace.
Ann Dover jumped right in. “Respond to the invitation as soon as possible, confirm how many of your group are coming and don’t bring uninvited guests. At this time offer to bring a dish to the occasion. That will relieve the host or hostess from some of the work.”
“When you RSVP,” said Will Mington, “find out how many other guests will be coming and if there are any dietary restrictions. Make sure you let the host know of any restrictions in your own group. Bring enough for everyone but avoid bringing excessive amounts.”
Clare Endon advised, “Avoid dishes that require extensive preparation at the host’s house. The kitchen will already be a busy place on such an occasion. Opt for something that can be easily transported and reheated if necessary.”
“Be a good guest,” indicated Connie Cord. “It’s a thoughtful gesture to bring a small gift for the host, such as a bottle of wine, a dessert or a bouquet of flowers. This shows appreciation for their effort. If the host has a specific seating arrangement, respect it. Sit where you’re assigned to avoid any awkwardness or confusion. Participate in conversations and avoid controversial topics.”
Rich Mond warned, “While it’s common to have wine or other beverages with dinner, overindulging can lead to awkward or uncomfortable situations.”
“After the meal,” suggested Brad Alboro, “offer to help clear the table or do the dishes. That’s when there is a lot of work to do, and people tend to duck out before it is done. Always thank the host before leaving, both for the invitation and for the meal. A follow-up thank-you note or message is also a thoughtful touch.”
Remember, the goal is to make the host’s job easier and to create a pleasant and enjoyable atmosphere for everyone. Following these etiquette guidelines will help ensure a harmonious and memorable Thanksgiving gathering. Come to think of it, these rules apply anytime you are invited somewhere for a luncheon or dinner party. As usual, when the mulled wine ran out, so did my friends.
— A.C. Worth
— Do you have a problem that needs some good old-fashioned common-sense advice? AC Worth is ready to help. Send your questions to [email protected]. All correspondence will be kept confidential.
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