Picking out a tree

By BECKY NELSON
Bramblings
A major portion of our annual sales is the sale of Christmas, just as most retailers. Even the words “selling Christmas” rub my faith sensitivities raw, but let’s face it, we Americans buy and sell Christmas. As our lives became more dollar focused over the decades, the face of Christmas changed. I think television plays a huge hand in this change as advertisers started hawking toys and gifts over the boob-tube and we Americans played along, thinking that giving a gift would make up for economic hard times or frayed family relationships. The Christmas tree changed as well, starting as an immigrant from Germany and Latvia. Like most of our Christian traditions, there are deep pagan roots in the display of trees, adapted to accommodate lights or candles to represent the arrival of Christ. Nowadays, the tradition has very different meanings, but in my view is an important representation of family, bringing everyone together to decorate and anticipate the gift-giving ritual.

Short ones. Fat ones. Tall and skinny ones. Darker colored and lighter colored ones. Limbs far apart and limbs close together. Aromatic ones. Ones that don’t smell at all. Ones that shed some, and ones that hold on tightly and don’t shed much at all. Genuine ones. Fake ones. Christmas trees come in all shapes and sizes, and differ in all regions of the country.

Here in our little corner of New Hampshire, it’s a lot of fun to be a part of folks’ Christmas traditions in the choosing of a tree. Everyone brings his or her own set of priorities to the choosing. Cathedral ceilings requiring a tall, full tree or a corner of a small room that will only take a four-foot, skinny tree, or even a table-top requirement with a tree a couple of feet tall…we hear it all. The best part of Christmas tree season is being involved with people. Kids are excited, Moms are excited, Dads are excited. Couples picking out their first tree together are excited. And we are excited to be a part of their process.

Picking out a Christmas tree is sort of like picking out a date. Dating websites have a slick questionnaire to fill out to determine your best match. I bet lots of people put a little glitz and glamour on their descriptions of themselves, just as every Christmas tree will have a little bling on it to dress it up. People picking out Christmas trees with preference for height and girth and species and color are not that very different from people picking out friends and partners…height, weight, color of skin, color of hair, color of eyes…we all discriminate and look for certain things both in what we choose for a Christmas tree and what we seek in people.

We have several acres of Christmas trees planted here and there around the farm. It’s kind of fun when it comes time to prune them into Christmas tree shape. The growth pattern of the tree pretty much dictates the pruning…if it seems to be shooting skyward quickly it will be pruned differently than the one that seems to be shooting all its energy into the length of its branches. But just as genetic coding in people dictates whether they will be tall or short or thin or thick or white or black, the tree genetics has a lot to say about how that tree will grow and what it will look like when harvested for Christmas. Each is different, each unique, each will be loved by someone and not cared for by another. Whether it is grown here or there, they are all worthy of a look and all to be respected for their individuality. Just as are people.

It is not a bad thing to choose one tree over another to make sure it fits in your space. It is also not a bad thing to choose one person over another to share your life and time with, so long as you don’t over-judge and turn your preferences into a bias that will harm others. When it goes too far and when judgment and personal preferences are over the top is when you start judging others for things that don’t affect you in any way. When you discriminate against them or harm them with your negativity because of their size, shape, activities, color, the clothing they wear or the religion they call their own when these attributes do nothing to adversely affect your life, is when these surface judgements frost me. In a very simplistic way, trees and people are not all that different. I try not to judge others that differ from me and hope to offer respect and at the very least, tolerance to each and every one of my fellow humans that does me no harm…just as I hope they do not judge, hate or discriminate against me. That Golden Rule is a good one, and I try to remind myself of it at every turn. I hope you all will strive to do the same. Choose your tree wisely and remember to treat others as you wish to be treated.

— Becky Nelson and her husband own Beaver Pond Farm in Newport, family owned and operated since 1780. She can be reached at [email protected].