Help the gray go away

Becky Nelson
Bramblings
Gray seems to be the color of this January. We happened to have one sunny day with bright blue skies this past week, and it was as if a miracle had occurred. I felt my spirits greatly improve during the brief respite from the dreary skies, and felt motivated to get off the couch and get on with my responsibilities. I may well suffer from a mild case of seasonal affective disorder (SAD). Though clinically undiagnosed as being a sufferer of SAD, I most assuredly suffer from lack of sunshine with mood swings and depressed feelings the state of the day for me during the winter months. SAD is the perfect acronym for this disorder, which hugely disrupts folks’ lives in our dark months. According to reports, SAD is very common, with over 3 million cases diagnosed in the U.S.

I cannot imagine living close to the North Pole, where darkness pervades the lives of residents for months. How do they cope with their circadian rhythms disrupted for such a long time? I assuredly wouldn’t do well. I would feel like a bear, wanting to eat lots and then cuddle up away from the storms to sleep the weeks long night away. I understand from expert reports, however, that bears may not be hibernating to the extent they once did in the area as warmer weather and more available food sources like bird feeders keep them from their winter slumber. But do the gray days set them to slumber?

Just a week or so ago, I saw a social media post made by an acquaintance that showed her birdfeeders on the ground, torn apart with all the seed gone. She, and I in turn, suspect a neighbor black bear had sniffed out the goodies and had a breakfast or dinner of the birdseed before it went for its winter nap. We haven’t seen anything but feathered friends at our bird feeders so far this season, thank goodness. Watching the birds as I get ready to start my morning or come in for a cup of cocoa or coffee during the day is a great source of pleasure to me, and I hope my neighbor bears are fast asleep.

My mother used to enjoy watching the birds. In her latter years, she was alone here at the house during most of the day as we worked at the farm. She always said the weather never affected her, but she was always reluctant to leave the house when it was gray and dreary, and spent many hours sitting at the window, gazing outside, watching the birds. She used to enjoy going to church every Sunday to get out of the house, but began even refusing to do so during some cold, gray Sundays. I think SAD may have affected her, as well. Other folks I know also seem to be affected by the dark days of winter, and find it hard to get motivated, have trouble sleeping, feel down or depressed during the dark months and find more pleasure in binge watching shows and eating snacks than getting on with the normal affairs of life. I am right there with them, but am reluctant to seek help for anything, ever, so haven’t sought counseling or help when I am feeling like a bear craving hibernation. I really should get off the couch, so to speak, and get some assistance in making my winter dark days better, but like many others, I probably won’t. My life is so busy and so full of responsibility that I find this a bit of therapy, so for now, am content to keep on keeping on during the winter months.

I find the news of the world just as gray as the skies outside, so actually avoid spending much time watching the news with the depravity, the horror, the political turmoil pervading the screens and the newsprint. I find that helps me be less “down” in a day. I make myself do what I need to do in a day to keep the business running and try to curb my desire to plop on the couch, reach for the snacks, and binge watch shows. Maybe not the best choice not to seek mental health help, but like a bear, I will look forward to the warmth and the sunshine of springtime and in the meantime will enjoy watching some snowflakes fall and the birds at the feeders with the gray skies as a backdrop. Like many in my generation, the stigmas of suffering mental health issues ingrained over our lifetimes are pretty big hurdles to top, and the idea that we can handle everything on our own are steeped deep in our bones.

I will, however, know when the gray is more than I can bear on my own, and will seek help. If I find myself becoming truly depressed, I will seek help. If I find it impossible to get off the couch and get along with my responsibilities, I will seek help. I urge you all to do the same. I am not a Pollyanna about life, and know the gray days are very, very dark for some. If this is the case in your life, I urge you to give your doctor a call and seek help to get some sunshine back in your life. Mental health is just as important as physical health, and we need to get over the stigmas and seek help when we need it.

— Becky and her husband own Beaver Pond Farm in Newport, family owned and operated since 1780. She can be reached at [email protected].